“Before the Fact” or “After the Fact” Parent?

It is easier to wait for problems instead of staying in front of them. But staying in front makes life’s stresses less for YOU the parent.

And yes, it can be a lonely journey – but it is how your attitude is what makes the journey as much as what you want in life.

Each of us is unique, comes from a different background, and has different histories and cultures. But I know that each one as parents wanted the same for our children to have opportunities to become the person of their own potential. To do that, YOU, as the parent need to be proactive, need to know what is coming up in YOUR child’s life, see their potential and abilities and to have expectations for YOUR child.

I tried every day to encourage and inspire my children, as a single parent. I was never a victim, I have never complained or whined. There are always, and there will always be parents who have more money than myself. But there are people who do not have as much as I do. Get over worrying or being fearful as a parent – read and learn and do YOUR research on what is best for YOU and YOUR child.

“Before the Fact” or “After the Fact” Parent?

I was always proactive with my children – I put my daughter on birth control pills- hoping she would never have sex before she met the man she was to marry and I bought condoms for my son to carry in his wallet just in case. I wanted them to become proactive as I was – to walk the walk also. It did not seem fair to the children to be left on their own out in the world. I believe in the protection of all kinds, whether in personal life or professional life. It about knows what is coming up in both areas we are in. That comes from planning and caring out that plan.

“Before the Fact” or “After the Fact” Parent?

Nothing is normal, nothing is a normal family, nothing is a normal child. Each individual is unique, each child is unique. Bring out the best in that unique child. To do that takes time, energy and information and understanding what is expected of you the parent.

There is no perfect family, every family has positive and negatives – appreciate all those. But, most importantly get rid of the negatives. Keep things to yourself, that YOUR children should not be part of. The money issues, the personal life you have, be the stand-up parent, be courageous, be brave. Do not whine or complain – be the giant, be that person that is strong and brave.

I can tell you that I was so angry when I finally figured out that I was by myself raising these wonderful children by myself. So, I knew I had to place that anger somewhere else besides in our home. So what I did was to do some volunteer work in worthy projects that were important to me. And amazingly enough, my children still remember all the volunteer work I did and work and raise children all at the same time. It can be done but I did not go out clubbing, nor did I have any relationships that were important to me. I believe to this day my children believe their mother put their wellbeing first – before her own. And I did. I lived on a very small budget, paid cash for everything, and had a plan.

“Before the Fact” or “After the Fact” Parent?

Are YOU Proactive or Reactive?