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As your child goes through their day, they experience many moments of exhilaration and frustration. Often the quality of your day can feel tied to your children’s roller-coaster of emotions. One way that you can keep yourself on an even ride is to learn how to steady their ups and downs.
Listening to your child is the chief skill you can use.
You can hear their disappointment when they do not make the team; you can accept their frustration when their plans do not work out, and you can acknowledge their dissatisfaction when they complain that their friends have more freedom than they do.
It can feel like a relief to learn that you do not need to “fix” everything for your children. By listening to them, you are communicating that they are worthy of your attention.
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Hearing their distress, you are demonstrating that their view of the world has merit.
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Allowing them time to decide their course of action, you are indicating your trust in their ability to solve problems.
Active listening is the single most important skill you have in your parenting “toolbox”
It is a specific form of communication that lets another person know that you are with them, aware of what they are saying. And accepting of their perspective, and appreciative of their situation.
Listening to your child is the best way to create a caring relationship in which they see you being “in their corner”. And as a base to which they can always return when they need support.
Having this secure relationship is one of the strongest factors in helping your child to become resilient, responsible, and caring. People who are open to your love and your guidance.
When you are an active listener, there is no judgment or evaluation of what the child is saying. Acceptance is the heart and soul of active listening. It is not the time to object, teach, help your child to solve a problem, or ask a ton of questions. This is a time to let your child talk with interruptions or judgment. And while you listen to what they have to say.
How to Actively Listen to Your Child
How to Actively Listen to Your Child
In the following there are some necessary attitudes:
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Prepared to accept the feelings and perceptions of your child as real.
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Be objective and keep your feelings separate from your child’s feeling.
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Allow your child to be responsible for their own feelings
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Make the necessary time to listen
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Recognize that feelings are often transitory — today they feel this way — tomorrow they will feel another way.
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Let the exchange go only as far as your child wants it to talk about it.
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Be patient and allow your child to draw his/her own conclusions.
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Do not have some specific result in mind.
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Self-Discipline and Development
YOUR Child is in Constant Transition
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